But, it goes deeper....
As I was processing my thoughts and feelings with my husband, he gently said he thought it was more.... More what else could be bothering me to the point of this pit in my stomach. In his gentle ways, he asked me if my heart was broken for a friend. It was at that moment I realized I was broken.
I am broken for a friend. She is saying good bye to her husband for an entire year. For an entire year, he will be across the ocean in a land where ducking isn't apart of a nerf war. It is a true bomb blowing war zone. A place where men and women are tested beyond their own strength. I feel for him. He leaves a family behind that will be a year older, a year wiser, a year taller.
And on top of that their marriage will have one of the biggest trials thrushed upon them. How do you keep love alive miles and miles apart? How do you communicate? How do you feel their love bank up?
My heart breaks--my soul cries out--my body shakes at the true sacrifice our military makes.
So, what can I do for my friend and her family? Obviously, pray for them fervently. Next, be available and listen closely to the unspoken words. I need to open my spirit up to God and allow Him to direct my paths and speak through my mouth.
So, does this make me feel better. Not a chance... I am reminded of a story in Scripture when Jesus wept. He wept because his friends were weeping over their dead brother. Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, but his friends' emotion brought out his deep emotions. Our lives our intertwined as Christians. We feel other's pain and joy and through these feelings we accomplish success in being the friend God wants us to be.
So, through my tears, I will be reminded of what compassion can do. I will walk along side my friend and her family and I will weep when they weep and I will rejoice when they rejoice. I will be the friend that God has created me to be.
"I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the ROCK that is higher than I."