The other day I went to pick up my boys from VBS. I was blessed to hear them sing a song called 'Boomerang Express.' I don't cry real easily, but that day I heard 90+ children singing that everything comes back to Jesus. I was over joyed to hear such sweet voices crying out their love for Jesus.
Wow! What a lesson we could all learn. Everything we do, say, and think comes back to Jesus. If only I lived that way everyday and every moment.
Trying to remember that it all comes back to loving Jesus,
We are fast approaching the birth of our daughter and with her birth she will bring an end to an era in the Proctor home. We will no longer be known as the family of all boys.
I can no longer say, 'boys load up.' Yep, things will have to change.
I will not be able to sign our family name as Mark and Susan and Boys. Yep, change is on the horizon.
Our home will no longer just consist of Star Wars and Super Heroes. Somewhere baby dolls will need to fit in. Change is approaching.
Blue is still the predominant color in our home....but pink is slowly over taking its spot. Pink fills her room and her closet and someday it will fill our home with her sweet personality.
So, how do you accept change and embrace the future?
Well, I think we give it one day at a time. We are blessed that no matter what your gender is you still come out of the womb the same way. She will still need to be changed, fed, and loved. Not much of a difference. The difference only lies in the clothes and of course bows we will put in her hair. Mark has already commented on how he will know which bloomers go with what dress.
Oh what fun...
I can't put it better than Kaleb did yesterday at the allergist. When asked about having a sister after having 3 brothers, Kaleb's response was classic Kaleb.
"I don't know how it is gonna be, but it is gonna be fun."
Well, I don't know how my life is gonna change as we progress into a new era, but I bet it is gonna be fun!
Today was a great example of God showing off. We are so blessed to have a God who cares for us and answers our prayers. He has given us the desires of our heart. Mary-Elizabeth is doing very well. She had no sign of the cyst on her brain.
The doctor was very grateful that we came in and explained that sometimes a sonogram can project images that are not there. She remembered my case from talking to my doctor and was very specific about the cyst and its placement. So, either their was never a cyst or my God removed the cyst--either way I am praising my Abba!
So, we have a God that can move mountains, change water into wine, heal the lame and make the dead alive. It is always a fabulous thing to see God be Big in our lives.
Mary-Elizabeth is growing well and has chubby cheeks and the most adorable frown. We are in love with our daughter and we wait anxiously to see her face to face and sing Praises to our God. Not much longer...
So, I have been contemplating how I could sum up my emotions and thoughts today. I have been thinking through my pregnancy with Mary-Elizabeth and trying to not 'worry' about all the junk that abounds.
I know I should not think about the issue of her possible brain cyst until it is diagnosed. I know I shouldn't worry about her potentially having down syndrome. I know I should not worry when she doesn't move as vigorously as normal. Yet, reality is that the last 24 hours have been tough.
I want to be positive, but I also want to protect myself from pain and prepare myself for the worse. Reality for me is that God is asking me once again to surrender it all. I should surrender my hopes and dreams to Him. That reality hurts. I truly want what God wants for my family, but I hate the pain.
Sometimes, reality hurts. It is seeing myself for who I am...a weak individual that depends on God for my every breath. So, reality is that Mary-Elizabeth may be an extremely healthy little girl or Mary-Elizabeth may be a very sick baby.
I can't keep my emotions in check.
I can't keep my fears in check.
I can't keep my attitude in check.
However, I can depend completely on God for keeping me in total balance. He is my cornerstone...my firm foundation--sure and strong.
So, what hope do I have? Well, today and probably tomorrow I will continue to quote Proverbs 3:3-5. I will trust God and not lean on my own understanding. I will delight myself in the Lord. I will be thankful in all situations. Not necessary thankful for the situation, but see the providence in all situations.
Reality is that God loves me and loves Mary-Elizabeth and I can trust myself to God's everlasting love!