Providential?

Last night as I returned home from going out to eat, I should have known something was wrong. I wasn't hungry. I was freezing on the patio as I ate. I was overall blah. I love getting out doing fun things, but last night I was ick. It really didn't hit me until much later that night that I was sick. Sick. Sick. Sick.

As I finally dropped my head on my pillow to quickly go to sleep before another bout of sickness hit me, I prayed that God would be kind and let the kids sleep in. Well, an hour later ME, in true ME fashion, woke up. God was ever faithful and blessed me and she went back down without much of an issue. I quickly fell asleep again.

I was awoken again at 5 with sounds of a sick child in the bathroom. As I dashed to the kids bathroom, I was overtaken with thankfulness that he wasn't throwing up. My least favorite child's illness. So, as I helped him down and carried him to my bed, I agonized over how many children I would wake up hearing that they were sick.

As the sun rose, Micah woke up at 6. It wasn't long to find out the he and ME were also joining Stephen and me in the roll call of being sick.

I prayed this morning that God would show me who to call for help. Having a stomach bug pretty much decreases the chances of having help..but I held out hope.

Well, today hope didn't come like I thought. In fact, hope came in a weird way. My older two helped out greatly. My younger two took amazing naps. Now, I have to really iterate this point. ME doesn't sleep well. An hour is the longest she ever sleeps. Today she took 2 naps for almost 2 hours each. Micah took a 3.5 hour nap. I was able to rest and sleep peacefully.

So maybe, just maybe God allowed for the little ones to get sick so that I may have the rest I desperately needed. God is always providential even in illnesses. Would you not agree?

Lessons Learned During Dinner

Well, lately I have been trying to make dinner time a time of connection between me and my wonderful 5 children.

Tonight they taught me several new lessons....

1. Milk is the best liquid to blow bubbles.
2. Don't get in between a girl and her brownies.
3. A vacuum cleaner is Mom's best friend.
4. Throwing croissant circles is fun.
5. If you put all your food in your mouth and then spit it out, no one will touch it.
6. Clorox will probably not go out of business anytime soon.

Tonight we laughed hard, and we are going to get to clean even harder.....

Loneliness

One of the first obstacles in my very first deployment is the loneliness. So, you might be asking yourself how can someone be so lonely in a house full of children. Well, being busy and being lonely are two different things. I am extremely busy from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. However, I am still very lonely at times.

I am by nature a people person. I walk into a room full of friends and get giddy. No denying it I love people. I love talking and laughing. I enjoy the times I cry with others, pray with others, and learn with others. I basically adore my time with friends. However, my best friend that I truly enjoy walking, talking, laughing and crying alongside is 11,000 miles away. I miss my adoring husband. I miss our talks about our days. I miss our talks about God and how He is working in our lives. I miss praying with him. I miss living life with him by my side.

So, although I have a plethora of children surrounding me and loving on me, I still get lonely when the sun goes down.

So, I have options on being lonely. It can drive me to depression or it can drive me to sit at the feet of Jesus. Jesus said he would never leave me nor forsake me. He cares that I am alone. And most nights I know that He is all that I need. Regardless of whether Mark is at home or several thousand miles away, Jesus is all I need. Mark is the dessert...the extra...the icing on the cake. Hopefully, I treat him that way.

So, when the nights are lonely my choices are to sulk and go to bed miserable or to trust God and allow Him to occupy me. So, how do I allow God to occupy my time and my mind? Well, diving into His word gives me great peace when my heart is anxious. Chatting with a close friends help me to process my day and thoughts. Reading a good book helps me to see life through others' eyes. Crying helps me to feel and see the compassion of a Holy and Righteous God who adores me as his daughter.

So, when the night gets lonely, I cast my eyes on my Creator, the one who knows me better than I know myself, and I dance the night and loneliness away.

Deployments....

After 5 years of Army life and not one deployment beyond basic training, Mark took a job that would lead him out of the country for months at a time. The particular job popped its head several times and several times we sad NO!

Until, God soften both of our hearts in different ways and then blew the doors wide open on this job opportunity. So, here I sit writing this blog in the comfy of my beautiful home that my husband and my God has blessed me with. While he sits in a war torn land protecting me and probably you from our enemy.

I believe that I am truly blessed beyond all measure to be married to a man who has a deep desire to follow God with all of his heart. I am blessed to serve a God who loves me and is using this particular path to grow me in some areas I lack obedience.

So, I say all this to say...I am a transparent person. I don't masquerade my feelings or hurts. Here is your warning. My blog is the real me....the real thoughts, tears, and laughter. I am not out to offend people, but out to share my heart and fears.

So, you may ask what is my first lesson in learning....how to deal with the loneliness of deployments. But, you will have to wait on that particular post. Because right now, I am a single Mom with a baby whose tummy won't stop hurting.

Off to cuddle....

Thanking God!

I have really struggled with blogging. Mainly because my blogs are from the inner parts of my soul. I haven't really wanted to share my soul lately. I have been "processing" this new way of life. Well, the last 24 hours have been really tough. So, I thought I would finally get the nerve to do a post that I have been praying over.

My heart's desire is to praise God for this time in our life and for Mark's deployment. I want to see the good in this deployment. Unfortunately, I don't see it very well. Yet, it is during the greatest storms that the sacrifice of thanksgiving has the sweetest fragrance.

So, here it goes. The list is short, but it is a beginning.
1. I thank God that my schedule is more flexible.
2. I thank God I get lots of little hugs and kisses.
3. I thank God for the support of my church family.
4. I thank God for the sweet emails from the love of my life.
5. I thank God for great friends that walk along side of me during this battle.
6. I thank God for listening to me cry and laugh and loving me through all my emotions.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18