One of the first obstacles in my very first deployment is the loneliness. So, you might be asking yourself how can someone be so lonely in a house full of children. Well, being busy and being lonely are two different things. I am extremely busy from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. However, I am still very lonely at times.
I am by nature a people person. I walk into a room full of friends and get giddy. No denying it I love people. I love talking and laughing. I enjoy the times I cry with others, pray with others, and learn with others. I basically adore my time with friends. However, my best friend that I truly enjoy walking, talking, laughing and crying alongside is 11,000 miles away. I miss my adoring husband. I miss our talks about our days. I miss our talks about God and how He is working in our lives. I miss praying with him. I miss living life with him by my side.
So, although I have a plethora of children surrounding me and loving on me, I still get lonely when the sun goes down.
So, I have options on being lonely. It can drive me to depression or it can drive me to sit at the feet of Jesus. Jesus said he would never leave me nor forsake me. He cares that I am alone. And most nights I know that He is all that I need. Regardless of whether Mark is at home or several thousand miles away, Jesus is all I need. Mark is the dessert...the extra...the icing on the cake. Hopefully, I treat him that way.
So, when the nights are lonely my choices are to sulk and go to bed miserable or to trust God and allow Him to occupy me. So, how do I allow God to occupy my time and my mind? Well, diving into His word gives me great peace when my heart is anxious. Chatting with a close friends help me to process my day and thoughts. Reading a good book helps me to see life through others' eyes. Crying helps me to feel and see the compassion of a Holy and Righteous God who adores me as his daughter.
So, when the night gets lonely, I cast my eyes on my Creator, the one who knows me better than I know myself, and I dance the night and loneliness away.