Black Friday

Today was not the day it was suppose to be. Tonight is suppose to be family night. Family Night is when the family plays, eats and sleeps together from the time Dad gets home until after breakfast the next day. Everyone loves family night!

However, today a cloud of sadness has come over me and my home. Our neighbors just gave birth to a baby boy who died in utero at about 40 weeks. There was no rhyme-no reason.

Personally, my heart feels like a knife has been stabbed into it. I am devastated for them.

So, in respect to the devastating news, I began to love the sounds of my home. I praised God on the way home today as Micah screamed loudly in the back seat. I thanked God for Stephen as he whined through the entire grocery store experience. I once again sang Hallelujahs as I disciplined Joshua and Kaleb for not following directions. I thanked my God for my four boys.

However, I also thanked him for carrying me through the process when I, too, lost my two sons. I was 8 weeks pregnant and began to bleed. That night we lost Zechariah Isaiah. We had lost one of our twins, but had the hope that we could carry the other one to term. At 12 weeks, I was given the okay to get off of bed rest. At 18 weeks, I went in for a normal check up with the whole family. We heard no heart beat. Our dear son had passed away a few weeks earlier. A few days later, I delivered a beautiful, albeit very small, little boy whom we named Hezekiah Tom Thumb.

No words could sum up the words for my emotions. I couldn't breathe. At times, the pain was so great that I would need Mark to sit with me through the episode until the pain subsided. The pain was real and it was deep and very ugly. The only way to survive was to be carried through the process of grieving. I thank God that today I can remember that experience and I recall how wonderful my Abba was during that darkest time of my life.

It is through theses experiences that I am humbled and remember that I must constantly give thanks for all things including the hard stuff. So, for today I am thankful for what I do have. I am thankful for my 20+ loads of laundry-my endless dirty dishes-endless crumbs under the high chair-whining children-sleepless nights and anything else I must sacrifice to have my four healthy, happy, God fearing Super Heroes. Thank you Blessed Reminder for reminding me of my blessings and the purpose of my calling.

Oh, by the way. I bet tonight will be the best family night ever.

Psalm 127:3 "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children (regardless of how long they are with us) are a reward from Him."

Change is on the Horizon

Lately, my family of Super Heroes has had a buffet of changes. We have had small changes that have created havoc that eventually led to joy to large changes that have created joy that eventually led to melt downs. For example, Micah our HeBaby turned one. Well, you would think that he would enjoy flipping his car seat around. We did this adventure on a long trip so that he could watch our TV since he is scared of the dark. The boys and I planned what movies we would watch and waited in eager anticipation of Micah's excitement. To be honest, we were all excited about this venture. Well, we were excited, but Micah was freaking out. He cried a majority of the way. It was a dark journey. We were all ready to get out of the car. Small change horrible just plain awful reaction. It took a couple of weeks and lots of crying, but he now enjoys his big boy position. WHEW!

A few days ago we received our orders to once again move. We are excited about our new adventure. The boys are excited about the possibilities of exploring new territory and visiting new parks. However, the flip side is we will miss those whom we have come to love. We will miss the town that we just found the "back roads" to our favorite places. We will miss the family that lives so close. With all those misses a breakdown was sure to occur. It didn't take long. Approximately 24 hours from our news, the children began to attach to everything.

"No Momma don't throw away our night light." (It is broken and I offered to take a picture so that he could remember it.)

"I forgot my paper over Israel at church." Crying so hard that his face has turned red and splotchy. He spent five min. on this project and now it is his favorite paper.

"This is my favorite place."

"I only want to go back to California." I have to admit we all loved California, but I was stunned. It was so far from home and the boys wanted and desired warmer weather.

"Memories are a fabulous thing, but they can bring grief or joy. It is our choice how we will react." This was my "social work" approach last night. I don't think it is gonna work. I have a feeling the keeper boxes will be filled with all sorts of collectibles by the time we leave. Sounds like my boys have some of my Mother's and my Mother-in-Love's habits.

Knights and Swords and Deception

My sister and her husband treated my whole family to a night out. This is no small task for our family of six! They also treated my brother and his sweet daughter to this event. We went to a place all boys love to go--Medieval Times. We were in the green section. We even had green crowns. Stephen loved this because light green and dark green are his favorite colors. He was elated to say the least.

The boys were able to see real knights in action. Live sword fights. Rescue of the damsel in distress. Not to mention we got to eat with our hands and drink soda pop with caffeine. Yes, it was the life. It was a dream come true for all of us.

The boys got swords-like we needed more swords! They were modern day knights fighting the 'bad' guys. We yelled and screamed for our Green Knight and then it happened. We found out he was the bad guy. My boys looked at me with an amazed look of 'WHAT?" Deception is a horrible thing. A lesson learned-deception even comes in your favorite color.

Kaleb

Kaleb is my oldest child. He is full of energy and excitement. He is also full of compassion. He loves people without fault. He cherishes stories and laughter. He is a fabulous son. My life would be void if he didn't exist.

Kaleb is also my mirror of myself. He takes on my emotions or my actions relatively easily. This could be good! However, he could also take on my not so pleasing attributes. Fortunately, yesterday he took on a new action that I have been practicing.

Last week another Mom, of four precious girls, was so encouraging. She was talking about the power of prayer. When she gets frustrated or angry with her daughters, she sits and prays with them instead of lashing out with her tongue or sending them away for a time out. I was immediately convicted. I am home all day with my darling boys. I have the privilege of training them in righteousness through devotions, playing, school, and chores. Anger is something that I combat daily as a sweet child turns to the not so sweet child.

So, I began to practice praying for my child's heart and my heart when anger crepts into my mouth and heart. Well, Kaleb was angry with his brother as they played hide and go seek yesterday. Instead of lashing out with his tongue or provoking his brother to anger, he prayed for the situation.

Kaleb said, "blah, blah, blah, In Jesus Name, Amen. Now Joshua I will go and find you and you can go hide first."

Isn't that the purpose of prayer-conviction. He prayed for his brother's heart to change and instead his heart changed. Prayer it changes everything.

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

We are having a Granny Party

Today is my Mother's birthday. She would be 64 years old. I am sad that today I can't take her a gift of flowers, candy, or drawings my children have made. However, today I am choosing not to dwell on what I don't have. I am focusing my attention on what I do have--memories.

So, today has been declared the Granny Party Day. We are eating her favorite meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn along with bread. We are eating brownies for dessert and to top it off we are having Root Beer freezer pops, homemade of course. Today we celebrate our fond memories of my Mother. We have even planned our activites as such. We are going to play Uno and laugh hard at her being "the worse of the worse."

Today I choose life and laughter.

Who knows maybe we will even sing karokee. None the less fun will be had.

So, Happy Birthday Momma! We love and miss you!

Do you remeber?

Today, I was sitting on the couch and watching the news with my sweet little Micah when my 6 year old Joshua came and set beside me. He asked what I was watching. I explained how today was a sad day 7 years ago. I was pregnant with him and scared at what was going on around me. I was afraid for America and for my freedom. I was angry. I was proud. I was overwhelmed with basically a ball of emotions that human words could not explain.

So I began to give some details of that day to him. He was still puzzled.

He said, "Did we get them bad guys?"

"No, sweetheart, we are still searching for him."

"Why?"

"Well, the bad guys hide really well in the sand and caves."

[A picture of the "bad guys" comes up on the TV.]

"Oh, you mean the sand people in Star Wars." (refering to the terrorists)

"Yeah, I guess you could compare the two."

"Well, Anakin got rid of them so why can't we."

This is were I began to talk about the men in uniform and how they are being trained to find and fight the bad guys. I explained how they were fighting for our freedom.

He shortly went back to playing with his castle and knights.

I began to wonder... Do I live differently? Do I live each day with a remeberence and thanks for our life and our liberty? Does my prayer life reflect the love for my country and my fellow American? Or did I go back to my normal life and forget what was going on.

9-11 did change the way I think. The way I travel. The way I respond to an American Flag. Now, I must change the way I fight for my Nation. I must not surrender by ignorance or complacency. I must fight through my posture. I must go to battle for my wonderful Nation through a bended knee and a humble heart.


Today I have been humbly reminded. I need to pray more abundantly for my wonderful country and the men and women who live in my country and serve my country. I need to pray for my leaders and the issues that we face.

II Chronicles 7:14 "..if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

The Heart of the Matter

Lately, I have been going a bit crazy with doctor appointments. Nothing is wrong in a major way, but none the less little things keep going out of sync. Normally one child at a time is ill, but lately I have had 3 out of 4.

My youngest just had tubes put in his ears after fighting ear infections for about 11 months. The surgery went better than I could have hoped. We saw the hand of God from the moment Micah woke up that day until we went to bed.

My second youngest, Stephen, has had stomach issues since he had intusseption at the age of 18 months. After x-rays and meds, we have decided to go and see a 'specialist.'

My oldest, Kaleb, has had several issues and we have traveled several times to go and see thus far 3 different specialists. We have 2 more to go! After several tests and more to go, Kaleb continues to be up beat and excited about the adventure. Now, that is a God thing!

This got me to thinking...

I began to realize that although my children look healthy on the outside the inside is a bit off. I could see some of those symptoms outwardly, but mainly my children acted just like themselves. Never did I think an ordinary check up would lead me down the path to several more appointments and tests.

This got me to thinking....

Although my children look spiritually healthy on the outside (except for the occasional redirection of attitudes), could the inside be extremely sick. I wonder if I could come up with a Spiritual MRI. I could see any disease that was attacking their heart. I could attack it with all my strength and help my children to get well. I could "nip it in the bud." I wouldn't have to wait for the outpouring of their heart to come through their actions.

This got me to thinking...

Could I be so in tuned with God to notice the tiniest infraction of an attitude that needs to be changed? What about the mind that needs to be transformed? The heart that needs to be created new? Oh, I would be able to change the attitude of my home, my church, my city, my state, my world. I could change the world- one prayer at a time- one heart at a time-one act of obedience at a time.

This got me to thinking...

Maybe all I need is that which God has required. I need to do justice in and out of my home. I need to love kindness in and out of my home. And I need to walk humbly with my God in and out of my home. (Micah 6:8 paraphrased)

Devote yourselves to prayer being watchful and thankful. Col. 4:2

Now your turn to think...