On Tuesday the 25th of January, we will mourn the fact that my Mom has been dead for 3 years. Or should I say we are celebrating the fact that my Mom has been in Heaven for 3 years. Grief is delicate and hard. Some days I feel like celebrating and rejoicing, but on other days I yearn for one more phone call.
So, today I am going to write my Mom a letter. I hope to convey my heart to her and her beautiful soul to you.
My Sweet Momma,
You have been gone for 3 years, but at times it feels as raw as yesterday. I wish so many times that I could pick up the phone and talk with you and tell you my thoughts. I would tell you how much ME reminds me of you. She absolutely loves clothes and purses. She has your hair and when she wakes up it looks just like yours (insert laughter). She loves to play with her babies and she is extremely stubborn. I wish you were here to watch her grow up with me.
I would tell you that Kaleb has your smile and your generosity. As he grows, I see the imprint you have had in his life.
Joshua has your passion for sports. He loves to watch football. He would definitely sit with you through the whole thing. He has a natural talent too. I wish we could sit and watch one more Cowboy game together even if they are losing.
Stephen has your analytical brain. He can figure anything out. He is very "mechanical." The other day I heard hims say, "Lefty loosy--righty tighty." He is great with numbers and figuring out all that stuff. I know that his smile would melt your heart in moments.
Micah is definitely you. He is so stubborn. He thinks he knows what is best. I know this quality would suit him well someday just like it did you. I just pray I make it through his formative years. You would definitely get a kick out of him as he "explains" his way. I can still hear you taking the sides of your grand babies.
Momma, I never told you how proud I am of you. I really did not understand all your sacrifices and all your strength until Mark left recently for his 4 month deployment. So many times I wanted to tell you how amazed I am at your strength.
Thank you Momma for being a woman of character and a pillar of strength. Thank you for sharing Jesus with me because without Him I don't know if I could have handled the last 3 years. Thank you for being real with me about your failures and your successes....it helps to know that it gets better. Your wisdom astounds me to this day. Many of your witty statements come to my mind as I write this letter...all of them true and all of them useful at some point in time.
I guess what I really want to say is thank you for letting me be your daughter. Thank you for teaching me to be who God created me to be. I can't wait until we meet again and can sit under a tree near that crystal sea and talk face to face. Oh what a day that will be! Until then-thank you for those reminders of how much you love me.
Love and Miss You,
*Just in case you were wondering. The picture is of my Mom and Kaleb in 1999.