Loneliness

*Warning...this is like a journal entry. My blog for now will be utilized in a way for me to communicate my heart.*

My soul cries out.

My soul yearns for one more thing.

As I search my heart and allow God to refine me, I am faced with some harsh realities. Sadly the reality is about me and it is producing a new perspective on life. As I began this journey, I noticed quite quickly that some changes were needed. I believe with all my heart that these changes were going to be painful. No doubt that it is going to hurt to the core of my being, but in the end it will be worth it.

As I ponder these harsh realities, I am asking myself some questions.

Who really knows me?

Who do I allow to know my heart?

What do I readily share?

What is the purpose of my friendships?

How do I get renewed?

I came to the conclusion that I can be in a room full of people and yet feel alone. It isn't that I don't believe I have friends...it is just the closeness that I am yearning . I miss praying with my friends. I miss the accountability of friends. I miss being sharpened by friends. I miss their encouragement.

So, as I sit at my computer and contemplate life, I have decided that life for now will be lonely for this outgoing girl.. I need time to heal. I need time to refocus. I need time to restructure my thoughts. In short, I just need time...that is what this sabbatical is all about. A time to heal my heart.