I expect too much.
Recently, I have been given some insight by God about my expectations. I expect my house to stay clean. I expect my yard not to have weeds. I expect to sleep soundly every night for about 8 hours. I expect my husband to be everything I want and to do what I want at all times--not really but just maybe. I expect to have my four healthy boys remain healthy and be extremely successful in life. I expect to have a healthy baby girl who nurses like a champ and looks awesome in her bows and pink outfits. I expect my perfect life to be filled with perfection in all areas.
Well, my my expectations often lead to imperfect ways, which are not God's perfect ways. God has a specific plan for my life. He also has His own plan for my incredible husband's life too! God has a plan for each of my children. God expects me to help my lovely husband and my wonderful children full fill God's plan and not my own. So, I must embrace the changes that come and help my God given family to overcome the obstacles of doubt, fear, selfishness, etc. So, my only real expectation should be to please my God in all my thoughts and actions.
So, why all the sudden an awakening to something I should already know. Well, once again God has asked Mark and I to walk out of the boat on rocky water and trust Him for all things. Today I had an ultrasound to check on Mary-Elizabeth's growth. Her growth is phenomenal. She weighs approximately 6 pounds and is measuring as a 36 week baby. She also has HAIR! It will be perfect for little bows! Unfortunately, the sonogram showed a cyst on her brain. The test in not conclusive, but is alarming. Thus, we go again to a specialist and see if the findings were a blip on the screen or in actuality a cyst. I don't know much more than that. I have no future plans. I rest in God's hands and pray for wisdom and strength to be the Mother that Mary-Elizabeth needs. I trust that God has worked out the details and will let His will be known. I believe that God is on His throne. I believe that my God is mighty to save and will move mountains as needed.
So, today and probably tomorrow, I will trust in the Lord my God and will not lean on my own understanding but in all my ways I WILL acknowledge God as my Lord and Savior. And I will continue to remind myself that the only thing perfect in this life is God's plan.
Trusting and Praying,