My Momma passed away 6 months ago. Some days are hard to digest, but overall it is bad moments. Moments that are like a knife that pierce my heart and then slowly goes away. It is as if reality hits my rose colored perception of my life. However, in the darkest moments, hope is restored. God brings funny stories to mind. He reminds me of how Momma grew to glorify Him in all that she did especially through her long battle with COPD and asthma.
One of the greatest blessings I have is my mother's legacy. She has left a legacy like no other. She did not leave money or fame. In fact, she didn't leave much more than her cherished possessions. However, it is in those cherished possessions that her legacy is remembered. If you would be so kind, let me share a few of those possessions that brings me hope.
Diet Cokes, Pimento Cheese, Bologna, Bananas, Wieners, Fri toes-all of these items were a must for her 'champion diet'.
Bucket of broken china-nothing is ever broken so much that you can't put it back together.
Electric Wheelchair-Momma dancing with Stephen on her lap to music the boys were playing on the organ.
Let me set the scene: Jan. 2005-ICU-Mom on life support/ tube in mouth- Julie, my sister-me pregnant with Stephen. She knew the battle could only be fought with the word of God. She had Julie and I quote Ps. 23. Julie and I were so overcome with emotion that we could only go through a few of the verses, but Momma with tube in her mouth quoted the whole thing. Yes, she knew the power of God's word. It was obvious that she utilized that power often. Volumes spoken. Words barely heard.
Cigarettes-a battle she never found success with until she won the war. She continued to try to quit up until the day she was completely delivered. Makes the old saying 'try, try again' take on new meaning.
Yellow Butterflies-my mother's favorite color was yellow. She has many china paintings that my grandmother painted that are yellow. The story goes that as my Aunt cleaned the front porch of my grandmother's house the day she died several white butterflies flew up. One white butterfly remained around my Aunt and cousins' house until Momma died. Now there are two white butterflies. Now, I don't believe that my grandmother, Gan-Gan, or my Mother is a butterfly. I do believe that God gives us symbols of hope and love. So, for me, a yellow butterfly comes to see me almost daily. I just say hello Momma and go on with a smile. My sister has requested that the butterfly comes to see her, but we all know that I am my Mother's favorite. Ha! ha!
My mother was a Lady.
She was a Lady of Prayer. I lost my number one prayer partner who knows me and loves me more than life itself. She knew how to pray without asking because she knew me.
She was a Lady of gifts. We sure do miss our UPS man.
She was a Lady of laughter. As you can see in the picture.
She was a Lady of Hope. We have this hope (Christ) as an anchor for our souls. 2Cor 4:16-18: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
My last time with my Momma is forever stamped in my mind. The last phone call and her tears of wanting me to be near her still ring in my ear. Yet, she truly trusted God and His Sovereign will was what she wanted most. Her children will forever miss her. Babies are born. Birthdays are celebrated. Phone calls are missed. Holidays come and go. Yet, the legacy continues.
This I know and believe that as weeping my last for a night (a very long night) joy will come in the morning.